I am posting this article on the request made by a reader a few days ago, who was completely against gays and lesbians.
[Added text :] Strictly from my point of view :
In most cases, these mentioned persons probably had a bad childhood or bad experience in his/her life. Sometimes, these people feel attracted by their own sex since they have grown up in an environment where he/she lived close together without getting an opportunity to discover people from the other sex.
I won’t be too long, but IMHO, everyone should be allowed to live their life, as long as they don’t disturb you.
Of course, the society may find it unacceptable but have they harmed you? They simply want to lead a peaceful life, that’s all.
The look of the society fears them, making them live in a different world. Judging people only because you don’t like things the way they are can be the wrong way to see things. We should consider the childhood, family life and how does that person live.
But (there is always a but :P) as someone said to me, this may have some implications. Some of these couples usually want to adopt a child, and this can be some sort of harassment for the grown up child.
I guess that they would like to have their own little world far away from the reality, but we are not there yet.
Live and let live!
Should our society accept them?
Yashvinblogs 
hi,
I tell you why we should give up taboo and recognise lesbians. I am a st guy married to a lesbian women(arranged marriage). We now have a kid. My spouse is not able to compromise her emotions just because she is attached to a family.
My kid who is now a 7 year old daughter likes both father and mother.everyday it is killing my soul, I cannot leave my wife because my kid needs her mom and I cannot stay with my wife because she is dating a girl.
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I really don’t want to look like I’m attacking anyone but the way I see it, is the following:
I understand what you meant by saying “accept homosexuals” but just by saying that, your putting yourself in a superior place, I don’t feel like heterosexuals have the given right to accept or decline us… how can someone have so much power over something that has nothing to do with them.
When i read your text i felt like you were putting heterosexuals in one side of the wall and homos on the other. being a homosexual is not the only thing they are, they are everything you are… and that’s very important to see, because you’re not seeing them has equals and you’re not giving them the same rights has you do. just because your hetero and they are not.
For the people who believe that homosexuality is not determined at birth I would advise them to see this video it’s a documentary of national geographic
About adoption I agree with lady insane
say if you agree
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Hmm… Sensitive subject? No. Humans are humans, with their big hearts and narrow minds. Which fortunately can be widened.
Just to add an analogy with traffic(I accept the risk of people slapping me for that, mais j’ai le courage de mes opinions!).
Si la police inn mette enn la-ligne blanc entre 2 traffic lanes et inn mett enn la-loi pou dire ki dans contour, strictement pas gagne droit traverse la-ligne la. Ok, fine, zot tou dakor parski c enn safety issue. Mais quand to observer tou les zours, personne pas respecter la-ligne blanc-la dans contour, tellement bien ki li effacer. Bein lerla, pou enforce the law, la-police alle faire spot check, ek lerla prend contravention. Bein, si coumsa dans sexualité oussi, ti bizin laisse la-police vinne faire spot check… Si zot pe respecter limite, etc. Pareil couma motard: ti pou dire toi faire coumsa, passe par-la, pas par-la, attane, tiombo, tension etc.
Non mais! Zot pas trouver c’est enn couillonade absurde!! Dans cas traffic, c’est enn sel chauffeur ki prend so prop responsabilité. Mais entre deux adultes consentant, ki la loi vinn faire la-dans?
Tant ki ena lobby religieux, nou pou reste enn pays constipé lor plan sexuel (enn journal ti dire: “misère sexuelle”) Si nou ti tellement religieux, ki-faire pas mette bann la-loi anti-fellation, anti-cunnilingus (enn certaine religion pas permette oral sex) contre tou position ki pas position du missionnaire (sel position ki acceptable par enn lott religion), anti-nudité pendant l’acte (ouais, enn religion dire ki fauder pas touni quand ou pé “faire”), anti-sexe plaisir (enn secte dir ki fauder “faire” zis pou gagne z’enfant, péché si “faire” par plaisir), etc…
Alors, entre 2 adultes consentant, mo cwar ki zott capave faire saki zott content. Si la-loi rentre la-dans, fauder zot accepter laisse faire spot check.
Mais, pas moi ki pou volontaire pou alle faire sa-kalité spot check-la 🙂
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I have read many posts above and I noticed that many people have hard feelings against those who cannot tolerate homosexuality. They also consider those homosexual-intolerant beings as primitive. They feel proud to say that they have evolved and have accepted homosexuals… but why can’t they accept the homosexual-intolerant beings too?
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For a very simple reason; those who are not tolerant towards homosexuality are making the life’s of many people harder and society accepts it, like if they had the right to judge, well they don’t because they are not superior and it has nothing to do with them, and being a homophobic is like being a racist your discriminating or not giving the same rights just because they are the way they are, and just because their way is not your way that doesn’t make any one’s way better or right.
I don’t thing anyone should be punish or anything but discrimination shouldn’t be allowed on the constitution.
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@shoot: there is some sense in what you said but it’s only one side of the story. Just like some homo-phobics are making life difficult for some homosexuals… some homosexuals are making life difficult for homo-phobics as well. homosexuals will not be able to put themselves in homo-phobics’ shoes and vice versa, because they do not think the same way. Each one is hurting the other because they are both 2 extremes!
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@Aum I would be grateful to you if you could show me official statistics about homophobics being bullied, molested, assaulted, raped, killed by homosexuals only because of their homophobia.
Homophobia, just like racism, is not a tolerable vice. Or maybe you think black people should have compromised a little bit more during apartheid and accept being treated as less-than-humans instead of fighting for their rights?
It’s not about thinking the same way. It’s about understanding that everyone should have the the same rights as long as it does not harm others rights. Gay marriage doesn’t harm a homophobic, killing a man because of his sexual orientation is murder. It is definitely harmful. You are being very inappropriate by comparing hate crimes to people fighting hate crimes. Maybe you should also take into consideration that there are a lot of people out there who aren’t homosexual but who support gay rights, it’s simply a question of human rights.
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@Aum, I agree with metroboy. I don’t think that I should accept and respect that there are people out there that have the right to hate me and discriminate against me because they don’t.
How do you suggest that homophobes and homosexuals make a deal… “If you stop hating me on Sundays and Saturdays I will not report to the police when you hit me!!!!” I know I know sarcasm doesn’t help in any situation but I couldn’t resist.
I don’t think that me being who I’m and loving who I love has anything to do with any other person. And I truly don’t see how me being a homosexual is going to make any one’s life’s harder other than me and my family. So if you could give an example of what you said I would be pleased to hear it.
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@MetroBoy:
You can Google the male rape statistics, preferably the US/European stats because they are more up to date.
And also, Homophobia is not like racism. It is a ‘Phobia’. I don’t think you blame Arachnophobics for not liking spiders do you?
I’d recommend you to try to do some research on how homophobics are created.
@shoot:
a scenario for you: say you’re a homosexual boss of a company and you happen to know that one of your good employees who has been working for 5 years is a homophobic. what do you do? would you victimize him?
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Aum, I don’t see your point, women are raped far more aften than men, are you insinuating that I should hate straight men?
Also look up xenophobia, it means hatred of foreigners, does that mean I can’t blame xenophobics for hating, assaulting and discriminating against immigrants?
And since you know so much about homophobics, you tell me how they are created.
And about your scenario, it’s something which has never been reported so far, but say it does happen, how would the employer know that his employee is homophobic? That means he said something insulting about homosexuals, right? So if you are working for a gay person, why on earth would you insult gay people in front of him? It’s like people working for a woman and making insulting comments about her gender.
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@ Aum, (et aussi Yiu, Nancy, Jo etc…)
Alleu… Vini taa… Moi, mo accepter toi moi, vini non… To pas content ki lezott ki soi-disant “open” pas tolere bann homo-intolerant (kouma toi?), bé pas grave ça… Vini mo console toi. Cwar moi. To trouver ki bann “open” pas content toi / homo-intolerant? Bein, moi, mo content toi moi, cwar moi. Vini non – mo va faire toi comprend certaines choses de la vie… 🙂
Pas pe dire toi ki to bizin “content” bann homos, mais zis bizin essaye comprend ki contre ou pas contre, c’est un fait. Ki bizin accepter. OK, to pas content zott, personne pas pou force toi. Mais zott exister, ki to content ou pas, pareil couma soleil trop fort ou gro lapli, diabète ou pas, c’est zott condition ki coumsa, point final.
Aster, si to’lé servi ça comme pretexte pou justifier to la-peur de l’inconnu, bein, ça, it’s up to you. Your inner fears is what drives your anger/hate towards them, that’s up to you. I don’t care.
But just remember that you could have been one like them…
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@Yashna:
You could do some research on the after effects of male rape vs women rape. i’m sure you will find that it’s not the same. Male rape (male-male) is psychologically far more devastating.. as an example starting by the high number of unreported rape cases and suicide cases after the rape. This is one of the main triggering factors of homophobia. Btw i repeat: phobia is not about hatred/racism. It is about fear. Phobia is a mental illness and should be treated by professionals.. debates cannot cure that! in fact it often adds fuel to fire.
With regards to your question on the scenario:
“That means he said something insulting about homosexuals, right?”
my answer: the homophobic is obviously wise enough not to use insulting words and knows about professional ethics to have survived for 5years in the company. let’s say he made the following statements:
“I feel uneasy around homosexuals”. Now, can you force him to consciously interact with someone with whom he feels uneasy?
@Torpedo:
I think you missed the point. Its not about “content / pas content homos”. Nor about excluding homos from the society. Homos have their place in society and have their rights too. My point is that homos are unknowingly traumatizing homophobics. They may be meaning no harm to others but somehow they do not know how to tackle homophobics and that makes matters worse. Unfortunately not all homosexuals are psychologists. Think about healing the world, and not about wounding it.
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Wow, Aum, your answer really stunned me there, I can hardly believe you actually have the guts to write that a woman who is raped is less affected than a man who has been raped, not only are a homophobic, you are a mysogynist and as a woman, I feel that your comment is terribly insulting.
And you are still completely missing the point, are you telling me that all homosexuals are rapists? Or that I should be scared of straight men because they can rape me? Because you are saying that you are scared of homosexuals because of the possibility you might be raped by one.
So homophobia is an illness, what about xenophobia? Is it any more acceptable?
And if someone’s “uncomfortable” around gay people, what is he working for a gay man for?
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“Si vous n’avez rien àvous reprocher, vous n’avez pas àavoir peur d’être filmés !“
– Brice Hortefeux. Le lendemain, une équipe de télévision filmait son dérapage sur les arabes…
This is not the matter at hand, but the crux of the matter remains the same: all humans have a basic right to intimacy, as per this article.
http://bugbrother.blog.lemonde.fr/2010/05/21/et-si-on-videosurveillait-les-chambres-a-coucher/
@ Aum:
Merci pour tant de précision. I think I now get what you want to convey. I also do feel that if I had been gay, and given the mentality that is prevalent locally, I would not have acted in a caricatural way and publicised my preference but would have remained as discreet as possible. A bit like Monsieur Bertrand Delanoë, Maire de Paris: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bertrand_Delano%C3%AB#Personal_life
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I’m a lesbian and I’m very proud of it… This is a pointless post… “Should we accept them?” …. Well that pretty insulting, we’re already accepted by the majority of people, the only people not accepting the gay community now are narrow minded, ignorant, self obsessed people that have probably never even attempted to have conversation with a out gay person. We’re all human, does it really matter who we sleep with?
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@Aum
I’m tired of this we’re getting nowhere, I’m writing this because I think that you’re not narrow minded and you realise it’s not a choice to be gay and you can’t change it. You can have your opinion all you want but what I’m (and I think it’s not just me) tying to say is this,you can’t say homosexuals and homophobes are the same thing because 95% of the homophobes don’t have FEAR of the homos they just hate them and discriminate against them that’s not a phobia, if it was real they would runaway from them. And has you know there are therapy for phobias like fear of flying and other stuff. And has I think you know to there is not a “cure” for homosexuality. So if it is a phobia them it should be treated like one…
I’ve already said this before but I’ll say it AGAIN the homos don’t want anything from the homophobes just respect and acceptance while the homophobes they think they have the right to judge you and to control the homos
It all resumes to this the homophobes don’t have the right to make homos life harder, and the homos don’t have accept th that homophobes hate them. if they have a phobia solve it
You can put it in every case scenario you want…
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@Yashna:
1. I don’t have phobias of homos. I’ve never acted strangely with homos.
2. I am sometimes very macho but i’m not misogynous. I’ve already spent 7yrs of my life with a lady. Btw i think u r a feminist! lol!
3. Girl you have to learn to read properly. All homosexuals are NOT rapists!
4. I’m NOT justifying acts of homophobics nor xenophobics. Read again!
I maintain what i said in the previous post. Anyway in times of today anyone can get raped by anyone. Even you can get raped by another girl. I’m not saying that it is a likely event. But if u r a hetero, that act would surely confuse u. Also depending on the severity, it might either turn u into a gay, or bi, or even a homophobic.
@Shoot:
Thanks to Yashna I’ve learnt a bit more about xenophobia. I think you should refer to that too. There are many similarities between Xeno and Homo phobias, but try to find out the cause of those phobias. Also try to find out the relation between fear and violence. You could probably come out with a new approach to cure phobias.. who knows!?
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Aum shaanti, shaanti, shaanti aum…
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@Aum
Do you know what a phobia is? It’s an IRRATIONAL fear of something, meaning it has no reason to be. there is no justification for it. And you do seem to be trying to say that homophobes have a legitimate reason to be scared of homosexuals, which is false. And rape isn’t something you like, it’s an act of hate and it won’t confuse you but traumatise you. And yeah, you are right, I am a feminist, a feminist being someone who thinks men and women should have equal rights, a lot of men are feminists too, you know.
There’s one thing I don’t get, what were you trying to say? The point of this discussion is about homosexuality and my position is that a third person has no right to intervene in two adults’ private lives, what’s yours?
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we should adapt gays here in our society,,,, in fact most of them made us laugh and they also more concern about something we never expected.
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we should adapt gays here in our society,,,, in fact most of them made us laugh and they also more concern about something we never expected.
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My reply : Heteros -should we ACCEPT them?
(Not willing to trigger anger or rebel but rather think about how it feels dear hetero friends )
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